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My grandmother called me yesterday to see how I was doing and feeling (but apparently soley with regards to being pregnant).

I had a severe cold and had only gotten 2 hours of sleep in the past two days as a result. I told her the truth. I felt horrible. I had a bad cold. She became annoyed and asked how the pregnancy was. I told her I didn't know because I was preoccupied with the cold feelings, and exhaustion, and didn't have the energy or time to focus on the being pregnant thing. This annoyed her even more and she went on to tell me how the unborn child comes first etc etc and even if I'm not focussing on it my body is.

I then told her I didn't like being pregnant. I think she wanted to kill me at this point. I tried to explain to her that the first tri-mester is supposed to be the worst one and the constant nauseua and pain and inability to take the cold medicines that would allow me to sleep plus the stomach bug I had had two weeks prior meant that I wasn't having the greatest time... but she basically said it was my duty as a mother to look at pregnancy at this beautiful and amazing thing because I will be having a baby.

I tried to explain that pregnancy and the baby are two different things, but then she went on a rant how she went through morning sickness and pain and loved every minute of it because it ended with her daughters, and she didn't understand what was wrong with me, and explained to me how horrible of a mother I am already being.

This phone call bothered me. What bothers me even more is this seems to be the general sentiment in most of the pregnancy communities I've found, regardless of age... and well, that's just not me. That call was yesterday. I am over my cold enough to sit up and type today, and today I am happy I started this community, because I think I'm going to need it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I had a friend with that same attitude the entire time I was pregnant. It made me CRAZY. Pregnancy is a means to an end for me, not the be all end all of parenting. It is uncomfortable and weird a lot of the time. Yes, the end result is great. But, that doesn't change the fact that being exhausted and nauseous is shitty.
I have a friend who is four weeks behind me and she refuses to acknowledge that any of the woes she is going through (morning sickness, fatigue, etc) are because of the baby because it is just so early in the pregnancy and it just isn't possible (for her baby to do that to her).

I really don't understand the disconnect at all.
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I didn't know the whack-your-hair-off urges were part of pregnancy. I did it in the bathroom staring in t he mirror angrily at week five lol
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i didn't know the whack-your-hair-off urges were part of pregnancy. my hair has actually gotten rather dry in the past couple weeks and i just want to chop it all off, cause i cannot control it in the humidity and all.
She just wanted a cute story to show off to her girlfriends, and you weren't sharing the right stuff. Then you started reminding her of the reality of her own pregnacies, and that pissed her off. It really has nothing to do with you. Don't worry about it.
this sounds a lot like how my mom is going to be once i become pregnant.
i have a chronic illness, so i am already at high risk for pregnancy, but my mother is so controlling and judgemental that i have actually thought about cutting her out of my life if/when me and my boyfriend decide to go for the Vegas wedding and then start having children. OY!

i think all of us who experience this need to explain that conversations like these never help the present situations, so if they're not going to say anything nice, the meddling parties need to accept the fact that thier phone calls will not be answered. that and if they're face to face with us, we need to walk away.

stress from dealing with these non-sympathetic people can cause more harm than good.

hope this helps